We moved to Little Rock just about two months ago. We had come to town over spring break to look for a house. It seemed like we weren't going to find anything we could remotely afford that would meet our minimum needs. Then, the evening before we left town, we found a house in North Little Rock - a house that we thought had just been rented. We later came to find out that we are ONE street inside North Little Rock and one street away from Sherwood. What this means for us is that we are in the North Little Rock school district, which has a better reputation than the Pulaski County Special school district (the schools that serve Sherwood). I kept hearing good things about Will's school, Indian Hills Elementary. This got me a little excited. But, even though the IEP process had gone smoothly thus far, I was still worried about how this all was going to go. You see, we came from The Little Light House in Tulsa. It's what I like to call "heaven on earth for special needs kids." If you meet anyone who has a child there, they'll tell you, they dread the day that their child has to graduate.
What I knew before tonight was that Will would be in the self-contained special education class. He would have six total students in his room with one special education teacher and two paraprofessionals. This student to teacher/para ratio thrilled me. Indian Hills is also the only elementary school in the district with a full-time nurse, and they have the district's lead speech and occupational therapists. I definitely liked all of this. But would the teacher be as nice as his had been at The Little Light House? Would they be as understanding? Would they let him have a snack (the boy likes to eat!)? Question after question filled my mind. Finally, I sat down and prayed - novel idea, huh? I told God that this was my son, my child who I had dedicated to Him and I know has a devine purpose on this earth. I want the best for Will and desired that all his needs be met at school without too much difficulty on my part.
Tonight was back to school night. We went up to the school and met Will's teacher, therapists, and principal. It was AMAZING! His teacher is fresh out of college and has such a fire for life and passion for our special kids. When we walked into the room she said, "You're Will. I am sooo excited to meet you! I had a dream about y'all last night. " At first I thought, well that's kind of weird. Then she went on to tell us that she has a niece who is five years old and also has Angelman Syndrome. She even spent a year and a half living with her and taking care of her. God put this wonderful young woman in place at this moment just for Will. She seemed so honestly interested in him, what he can do (which she was amazed by), and what his needs are. If he's hungry, she'll let him eat. If he's tired, he can lay down. Need help eating? No problem. Every time I asked her what I needed to do in regards to things like diapers or sippy cups, she would say, "Whatever is easiest for you. " She even plans on sending home daily notes with progress reports, etc. I couldn't ask for more. His therapists all came into the classroom to meet him, find out more about him, and see what our goals for Will were. Finally, when we met the new principal, we found out that she got her start as a self-contained special education teacher. She said to us, "Well, isn't it a coincidence that his teacher has a niece with the same condition and that I taught special ed?" I know it's no coincidence. It's totally a God thing!
I don't know why I'm so amazed by this. He promises in His Word that He'll supply all of our needs. He also promises that He will give us the desires of our hearts.
"Delight yourself in the Lord, and He will give you the desires of your heart." - Psalm 37:4
This happens over and over again. I think it goes back to the whole fear thing. I'm afraid things won't go the way I want them to or that I'll be disappointed. God shows me over and over again that there is no reason to be afraid or worry. The best place in the world that you can be is in the center of His will. When you dedicate yourself to Him and "delight yourself" in Him, He really will give you the desires of your heart. The key is, when you're fully delighted in Him, your desires become His desires. Give it a whirl sometime. You'll be amazed at all the "God things" that happen in your life.
Fear Not !
This world can be a very scary place. Scary things happen to everyone - even good people. I know that I often look for some sort of reason why these things have happened. Let me give you a few examples. My nephew Gage was diagnosed with Asperger's Syndrome. Then they found some chromosomal abnormalities. As if this wasn't enough, he was recently diagnosed with Fanconi anemia, a disease that has the potential to be devastating. Just when I thought, why in the world did this great kid and his wonderful parents have to be dealt this hand, the hand got worse. They just found out their younger child, Stella, also has Fanconi anemia. This is a very scary situation. You have the tendency to think, "Why them? They're good people." I have another friend from college who is serving the Lord with her husband and three daughters in India. One of her daughters has been very ill and may possibly have a genetic condition. It seems like if anyone would be blessed, it would be missionaries, right? My best friend's daughter is plagued with frequent UTIs. This may not seem as big of a deal in comparison to the others, but it caused them pain and worry, and it's a big deal to them. Our son is disabled and can't do most things a person always dreams their son will do. It seems like there is nothing but badness and scary-ness (if that's a word) everywhere you turn. It doesn't seem fair, but, as my dad told me as a little girl, "Life isn't fair. It's a magazine." (Let's see how long it takes some of you to get that one!) It seems like all of these families are fighting in the battle of their lives.
"Though an army besiege me, my heart will not fear; though war break out against me, even then will I be confident." - Psalm 27:2-4
Every time you turn on the TV, radio, or computer it seems like all you hear about is financial ruin, the terrible economy, and the unemployment rate. Good people (and bad) have lost their jobs, their home, their cars, and even some, their families. My family is not currently in the greatest financial situation. Being a fellow, my salary is basically the same as that of a resident. For those of you who don't know what that means, it means I'm payed pennies on the dollar for what an attending physician would get. Part of my "pay" is getting to learn, which I am very grateful for but does not pay our bills. We currently do not receive medicaid or SSI even though Will is disabled and have a lot of out of pocket medical expenses. Plus, everything here in Little Rock costs more than it did in Tulsa. Pastor Rod has been preaching a sermon series on fear (check out the sermons at www.firstnlr.com) over the past month. It feels like he's preaching directly to me and that I'm the only one there. Last week he talked about being financially faithful to God. He talked about people who don't tithe and give offerings to God for the fear that they will not be able to pay their bills and provide for their family. I am ashamed to say that I have been that person once or twice in the past, but I am proud to say that I have been faithful in my giving for several years now. I do, unfortunately, still sometimes wonder, "What if I still had that money? I could pay this bill and that bill with it." Then I get a gentle kick in the pants from the Lord (lately in the form of Pastor Rod's sermons!) saying, "Don't worry! I will take care of you!" And He always does. It hasn't been in the form of a check in the mail, but we have never done without life's necessities.
"Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes? Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life ? And why do you worry about clothes? See how the lilies of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. So do not worry, saying, 'What shall we eat?' or 'What shall we drink?' or 'What shall we wear?' Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own." - Matthew 6:25-35
I guess what I'm trying to say is that bad times are going to come. Scary things are going to happen. It's our human nature to be afraid. But, God doesn't want us to be afraid. He promises He will ALWAYS be with us, NEVER leave us or forsake us, and that He has a plan for our lives. We may not always understand His plan or know the next step, but that's where our faith comes in. We have to trust Him. We have to believe His promises. It's not always easy to do - I'm the first person to admit that - but as I spend more time with Him, I'm learning to trust Him more and to slowly but surely put aside my fears and find the joy He wants me to have. While the situations I've written about are anything but joyful, I truly believe that no matter the outcome, God will bring joy out of it. His plan is not necessarily always to heal or provide a check, but the blessings will come...if we let them. I know it's hard to have faith when you're afraid - that's why we have to stop being afraid. I hope that whatever your fear is, you can learn to "Fear not!" Put all your trust in Him, let Him lead you, and your fear will be replaced with abundant joy.
"The LORD is my strength and my shield; my heart trusts in him, and I am helped. My heart leaps for joy and I will give thanks to him in song." - Psalm 28:7
"Be strong and courageous, and do the work. Do not be afraid or discouraged, for the LORD God, my God, is with you. He will not fail you or forsake you..." - 1 Chronicles 28:20
"Though an army besiege me, my heart will not fear; though war break out against me, even then will I be confident." - Psalm 27:2-4
Every time you turn on the TV, radio, or computer it seems like all you hear about is financial ruin, the terrible economy, and the unemployment rate. Good people (and bad) have lost their jobs, their home, their cars, and even some, their families. My family is not currently in the greatest financial situation. Being a fellow, my salary is basically the same as that of a resident. For those of you who don't know what that means, it means I'm payed pennies on the dollar for what an attending physician would get. Part of my "pay" is getting to learn, which I am very grateful for but does not pay our bills. We currently do not receive medicaid or SSI even though Will is disabled and have a lot of out of pocket medical expenses. Plus, everything here in Little Rock costs more than it did in Tulsa. Pastor Rod has been preaching a sermon series on fear (check out the sermons at www.firstnlr.com) over the past month. It feels like he's preaching directly to me and that I'm the only one there. Last week he talked about being financially faithful to God. He talked about people who don't tithe and give offerings to God for the fear that they will not be able to pay their bills and provide for their family. I am ashamed to say that I have been that person once or twice in the past, but I am proud to say that I have been faithful in my giving for several years now. I do, unfortunately, still sometimes wonder, "What if I still had that money? I could pay this bill and that bill with it." Then I get a gentle kick in the pants from the Lord (lately in the form of Pastor Rod's sermons!) saying, "Don't worry! I will take care of you!" And He always does. It hasn't been in the form of a check in the mail, but we have never done without life's necessities.
"Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes? Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life ? And why do you worry about clothes? See how the lilies of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. So do not worry, saying, 'What shall we eat?' or 'What shall we drink?' or 'What shall we wear?' Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own." - Matthew 6:25-35
I guess what I'm trying to say is that bad times are going to come. Scary things are going to happen. It's our human nature to be afraid. But, God doesn't want us to be afraid. He promises He will ALWAYS be with us, NEVER leave us or forsake us, and that He has a plan for our lives. We may not always understand His plan or know the next step, but that's where our faith comes in. We have to trust Him. We have to believe His promises. It's not always easy to do - I'm the first person to admit that - but as I spend more time with Him, I'm learning to trust Him more and to slowly but surely put aside my fears and find the joy He wants me to have. While the situations I've written about are anything but joyful, I truly believe that no matter the outcome, God will bring joy out of it. His plan is not necessarily always to heal or provide a check, but the blessings will come...if we let them. I know it's hard to have faith when you're afraid - that's why we have to stop being afraid. I hope that whatever your fear is, you can learn to "Fear not!" Put all your trust in Him, let Him lead you, and your fear will be replaced with abundant joy.
"The LORD is my strength and my shield; my heart trusts in him, and I am helped. My heart leaps for joy and I will give thanks to him in song." - Psalm 28:7
"Be strong and courageous, and do the work. Do not be afraid or discouraged, for the LORD God, my God, is with you. He will not fail you or forsake you..." - 1 Chronicles 28:20
My Wish List
I'm not really sure why I'm writing about or posting this other than the fact than it's been on my mind for a few days now. There are several things (many small, but some more expensive) that I want (do not need, but would be nice to have and some would make my life a little easier). I guess it's just kind of an FYI. Anyway, here it is:
1. 2-drawer filing cabinet
2. 2011 day planner
3. New dining room table and chairs
4. Curtains for my bedroom
5. A night out with my husband (and no children)
6. An "m" button for my laptop that works (and is attached to the keyboard)
7. The new Mercy Me CD ("The Generous Mr. Lovewell")
Not sure what you're wishing for, but I hope you get it - at least some of it. Everyone ought to get something they're wishing for every once in a while.
1. 2-drawer filing cabinet
2. 2011 day planner
3. New dining room table and chairs
4. Curtains for my bedroom
5. A night out with my husband (and no children)
6. An "m" button for my laptop that works (and is attached to the keyboard)
7. The new Mercy Me CD ("The Generous Mr. Lovewell")
Not sure what you're wishing for, but I hope you get it - at least some of it. Everyone ought to get something they're wishing for every once in a while.
I Love Fellowship!
So far so good! Fellowship is quite a change from residency. I'm lucky in that my fellowship is much lower in stress and hours worked each week than my residency was. Not all fellows are that lucky - it totally depends on your specialty. Developmental/behavioral pediatrics is a very laid-back specialty that so far has allowed me to get home everyday before 5:00. Can you believe it? I really don't know what to do with myself. I've gone from working an average of 65 hours a week (some weeks as much as 80 hours) to working about 40 hours a week. I told Jeremiah he may get tired of me! I am looking into moonlighting - not because I want to, but because I have to. My health insurance here is costing me five times as much as I paid in Tulsa. Our rent and several other bills are also more than they were in Tulsa, so I really don't have a choice. At least my work hours are low enough that I can moonlight and still not work as much as I was just a few months ago. I'm looking into an opportunity in the fast-track pod of the ER at ACH. It's more like an after hours clinic with lower acuity than the main ER. The pay is good too. I'm just waiting to find out if they'll pay my malpractice insurance. That will be a big part of whether or not actually do it.
Jeremiah and the kids are doing well. They've totally adjusted to life here. I think the only thing Jeremiah is having a hard time adjusting to is getting up to be at church my 8:30. That's an hour earlier than we had to go in Tulsa. We didn't plan on going to the first service, but Will's class (Cool Kids for special needs kids) only meets during the first and second services. Our Sunday school class meets during the second service, so we're trying to make it to the first service. The third service would be nice though because we wouldn't have to get to church until 10:00. Oh well. I definitely think it's worth it for Will to be able to be in his class during church and Sunday school.
Will starts school in about 6 weeks. I'm nervous about it, but I am happy with the way his IEP has turned out so far. We're still waiting to meet with PT and OT because they weren't there for the initial IEP meeting, but everything else is awesome. He's getting 90 minutes per week of speech therapy and 60 minutes per week each of physical and occupational therapy. He's going to be in a self-contained class with 5 other children, one special ed teach, and two paraprofessionals. I think it's a pretty good student to staff ratio. He will also have the school district's lead ST and OT and the only full-time school nurse in the district. The Lord is definitely answering prayers in that area.
I do have one major prayer request that I need you all to be in prayer about. Will was receiving SSI payments until April when they were discontinued. About a year ago, the Social Security office said they'd overpaid us and that we were required to pay them back around $5000. Well, the waived around $1000 and collected some more from his checks (until we stopped getting them a few months ago). Now they're saying they overpaid us again. I've done everything they've asked as far as providing information, participating in phone and person-to-person interviews, etc. but they're still actually saying we now owe just over $6000. Please pray that my application for waiver and/or appeal will be granted. We obviously don't have that kind of money, and besides, I didn't deceive them to get the money. It was their mistake, and I'm praying they will own up to that fact. Thanks for your thoughts and prayers. I feel them everyday. You guys are the best!
Jeremiah and the kids are doing well. They've totally adjusted to life here. I think the only thing Jeremiah is having a hard time adjusting to is getting up to be at church my 8:30. That's an hour earlier than we had to go in Tulsa. We didn't plan on going to the first service, but Will's class (Cool Kids for special needs kids) only meets during the first and second services. Our Sunday school class meets during the second service, so we're trying to make it to the first service. The third service would be nice though because we wouldn't have to get to church until 10:00. Oh well. I definitely think it's worth it for Will to be able to be in his class during church and Sunday school.
Will starts school in about 6 weeks. I'm nervous about it, but I am happy with the way his IEP has turned out so far. We're still waiting to meet with PT and OT because they weren't there for the initial IEP meeting, but everything else is awesome. He's getting 90 minutes per week of speech therapy and 60 minutes per week each of physical and occupational therapy. He's going to be in a self-contained class with 5 other children, one special ed teach, and two paraprofessionals. I think it's a pretty good student to staff ratio. He will also have the school district's lead ST and OT and the only full-time school nurse in the district. The Lord is definitely answering prayers in that area.
I do have one major prayer request that I need you all to be in prayer about. Will was receiving SSI payments until April when they were discontinued. About a year ago, the Social Security office said they'd overpaid us and that we were required to pay them back around $5000. Well, the waived around $1000 and collected some more from his checks (until we stopped getting them a few months ago). Now they're saying they overpaid us again. I've done everything they've asked as far as providing information, participating in phone and person-to-person interviews, etc. but they're still actually saying we now owe just over $6000. Please pray that my application for waiver and/or appeal will be granted. We obviously don't have that kind of money, and besides, I didn't deceive them to get the money. It was their mistake, and I'm praying they will own up to that fact. Thanks for your thoughts and prayers. I feel them everyday. You guys are the best!
Hello Little Rock!
We have arrived in Little Rock (North Little Rock to be precise). We got to town on the 16th, and with the help of my amazing parents, got the house in reasonable shape before they left on Sunday. We loaded the truck ourselves, with the help of two friends (each for about 2 hours), and we had movers unload us in North Little Rock. Trust me when I say this - get the movers! It was totally worth the money. It took them one fifth the time it took us. Anyway, Dad and Uncle Walt had been here the week before working on the house, and it looks awesome! They painted, had flooring replaced, and did yard work. While this house is a little smaller than our old house, I think it's going to be good. It has a nice back yard that the kids can play in, and the front yard has much more curb appeal.
Our first night in the house was also Cate's first night in her "big girl bed." She did really well. She stayed in her bed the entire night and called for us in the morning when she woke up. I don't think she knew she could get down by herself (we have a rail up to prevent her from falling out). Unfortunately, she figured out she could get out on her own on Saturday night around 1:45 am, and then couldn't get back to her bedroom. She has adjusted beautifully thus far. She did well at Sunday school after a few minutes of warming up to the new class. She has been asking for Stephy (her speech therapist in Tulsa) all day today though. I told her we were going to get her a new Stephy, and she replied, "I don't want a new Stephy!" Hopefully she'll adjust to that well too. Her preschool doesn't start until after Labor Day, so it could be a long summer.
Will seems to be doing well too. He doesn't have quite the space he had in Tulsa to run around in the den, but he is still having a large time (that's a saying of my dad's). His room is decorated with animal wall decals, which he seems to like. He woke up making his monkey noises the morning after I put them up. He also had a good time at church on Sunday. They have a special needs ministry as part of their children's ministry at First Assmebly NLR, and the teachers said he did well on his first day. We go Friday for his testing for school and for me to fill out all of the paper work to get his IEP started. So far, this whole special education thing is going well (knock on wood!). The special services director for the district is so nice and very willing to help.
Our first night in the house was also Cate's first night in her "big girl bed." She did really well. She stayed in her bed the entire night and called for us in the morning when she woke up. I don't think she knew she could get down by herself (we have a rail up to prevent her from falling out). Unfortunately, she figured out she could get out on her own on Saturday night around 1:45 am, and then couldn't get back to her bedroom. She has adjusted beautifully thus far. She did well at Sunday school after a few minutes of warming up to the new class. She has been asking for Stephy (her speech therapist in Tulsa) all day today though. I told her we were going to get her a new Stephy, and she replied, "I don't want a new Stephy!" Hopefully she'll adjust to that well too. Her preschool doesn't start until after Labor Day, so it could be a long summer.
Will seems to be doing well too. He doesn't have quite the space he had in Tulsa to run around in the den, but he is still having a large time (that's a saying of my dad's). His room is decorated with animal wall decals, which he seems to like. He woke up making his monkey noises the morning after I put them up. He also had a good time at church on Sunday. They have a special needs ministry as part of their children's ministry at First Assmebly NLR, and the teachers said he did well on his first day. We go Friday for his testing for school and for me to fill out all of the paper work to get his IEP started. So far, this whole special education thing is going well (knock on wood!). The special services director for the district is so nice and very willing to help.
Jeremiah has been doing pretty well considering he didn't have TV or internet for 6 days and had to watch Snow White, Sleeping Beauty, and Cinderella like 1000 times during that time period. He hasn't killed either kid or himself, so I'd say that's an accomplishment. I know he'll be ready for Will to start school though. This is the first summer since 2007 that Will will be home all summer. Say a little prayer for both of them.
We're slowly getting the house in order, and when I get everything the way I want it, I'll post before and after pictures. I'm in the middle of resident/fellow orientation at UAMS and ACH this week. Not too exciting, but I guess that's a good thing. The most exciting thing on our horizon is that Catherine and baby Hanan are coming to visit July 4th weekend. Can't wait to see them!!!
Hope this update finds you all well. More to come from NLR....
Goodbye T-Town!
Well, tomorrow we pack our U-Haul. We're staying the night with our Sunday school teachers, and dear friends, so this is our last night in the Tulsa house. It's been a good house. We moved here in July of 2004. We brought both of our children home to this house, and we've made a lot of memories here. I will miss it a lot, but I'm glad to be moving on to the next chapter of our lives.
Leaving Woodlake Church on Sunday was definitely one of the hardest things I've ever had to do. We have been members there for seven years, and they have been our family here in Tulsa. I never imagined when we started going there so many years ago that I'd have made such dear friends who mean so much to me. The service was wonderful and Spirit-filled, and the fellowship time at the church's land yesterday evening was great. Good food, good friends, and good memories. We'll definitely be making a trip or two back to Tulsa to visit.
Tonight is the last time I'll have internet for a while, so it may be a week or two before I can post an update about the move. If you want to call me, feel free (if you know my cell number). If you don't have it, you can FB message my mom or siblings, and they can share it with you (I just don't want to post the number online.). I can't wait for you to see the before and after pictures of our new house.
Update from Little Rock to come...
Leaving Woodlake Church on Sunday was definitely one of the hardest things I've ever had to do. We have been members there for seven years, and they have been our family here in Tulsa. I never imagined when we started going there so many years ago that I'd have made such dear friends who mean so much to me. The service was wonderful and Spirit-filled, and the fellowship time at the church's land yesterday evening was great. Good food, good friends, and good memories. We'll definitely be making a trip or two back to Tulsa to visit.
Tonight is the last time I'll have internet for a while, so it may be a week or two before I can post an update about the move. If you want to call me, feel free (if you know my cell number). If you don't have it, you can FB message my mom or siblings, and they can share it with you (I just don't want to post the number online.). I can't wait for you to see the before and after pictures of our new house.
Update from Little Rock to come...
