I'm totally over this whole knee surgery thing! I'm tired of hurting. Tired of being limited in what I can do. Tired of hobbling around. I'm ready to be better and get back to my life. I'm not used to sitting around with my leg propped up while I ask other people to get things and do things for me. Frankly, I hate this. It's been three weeks now, and I am getting better. But, I still hurt. And the hurting is the thing that seems to limit me the most. I'm doing well with my rehab and bending and straightening my leg. It's getting stronger everyday, and my therapist says I'm right where I should be. But...I still hurt.
The other night I had a break down and threw myself quite the little pity party. Why me? That is the dumbest question ever. (By the way, if you want more answers to that question, come to First Assembly NLR on Easter Sunday.) I don't even know why I ask it. As if leg surgery was the worst thing in the world that could ever happen to me. All I have to do is turn on the TV and I'll see people who are suffering so much more than I ever have. Earthquakes and tsunamis. Tornadoes. Women killing themselves and their children. I mean, really, knee surgery? "Get over it!" I told myself.
"You will get better. It just takes time." I'm really tired of hearing this, and I think it's because this is the hard part for me. I am not a patient person by nature. I have to pray for patience on a daily basis. I also have to remember that God tells us we should consider it pure joy when we face trials. It's hard to think of knee surgery as pure joy, but if it develops my perseverance, character, etc. then I should be joyful about that.
The morning after my glorious pity party, I got in my car to drive to work and was listening to K-LOVE. (I love that station! You guys should check it out.) A song by Mandisa titled "Stronger" came on. What a wake-up call! It was exactly what I needed to hear. So, I thought I'd post the lyrics because I have a sneaking suspicion that one of you may need to hear them too.
Hey, heard you were up all night
Thinking about how your world ain't right
And you wonder if things will ever get better
And you're asking why is it always raining on you
When all you want is just a little good news
Instead of standing there stuck out in the weather
Oh, don't hang your head. It's gonna end
God's right there, even it it's hard to see him
I promise you that He still cares
When the waves are taking you under
Hold on just a little bit longer
He knows that this is gonna make you stronger, stronger
The pain ain't gonna last forever
And things can only get better
Believe me, this is gonna make you stronger
Try and do the best you can
Hold on and let Him hold your hand
And go on and fall into the arms of Jesus
Oh, lift your head, it's gonna end
God's right there, even when you just can't feel Him
I promise you that He still cares
'Cause if He started this work in you life
He will be faithful to complete it
If only you believe it
He knows how much it hurts
And I'm sure that He's gonna help you get through this
When the waves are taking you under
Hold on just a little bit longer
He knows that this is gonna make you stronger, stronger
The pain ain't gonna last forever
And things can only get better
Believe me, this is gonna make you stronger
Sometimes All You Can Do Is Laugh
So, like most of you, my life is pretty stressful. I am a wife. I am a mother of two young children. I am a first year developmental-behavioral pediatrics fellow. I am a part-time Sunday school teacher in the special needs youth class. Oh yeah, and I'm a pretty rockin' blogger.
Well, you know that expression, "When it rains, it pours" ? That's my life right now. As I've mentioned before, I had reconstructive knee surgery almost two weeks ago. The injury was much worse than the MRI showed, and the surgery was more extensive than originally planned. Because of that, my recovery is going more slowly than I'd hoped. I'm hurting all the time and getting very frustrated. I had a breakdown last night, which was lovely by the way. I'm just so stinking tired of not being able to do the things I normally do. I'm tired of having to have things done for me. I'm tired of hurting. I'm tired of it all.
And, as I've mentioned a million times, I have a child with special needs. He is the most amazing little boy and the light of my life. He is also the cause of much stress and frustration. He can't help most of it, and I have to remind myself of that everyday. I know he is on this earth for a reason, and I hope I'm around to see what that is. Well, he did one of those frustrating things the other night. While we were sitting in the den, all hanging out, he calmly walked up to the TV and wacked it with his sippy cup. I'm sure you can guess what came next. The screen cracked and went black. We are now the proud owners of a 42 inch flat panel wall-mounted radio. Did you know that make flat panel TV screen protectors? Me either. Sure wish I did before this happened. Needless to say, we have one on it's way to put over our new TV.
There are a thousand other things that I could write about that cause stress in my life, but it would be like beating a dead horse. If any of you have money troubles, job problems, health problems, sick kids, marital difficulties, depression, anger, or whatever, then you know what I'm talking about. The biggest issue with all of these things, in my opinion, is how we choose to react to them. We can do like I did the other night, and have a breakdown and cry....or we can choose to laugh. If you're life is as stressful as mine and you choose to breakdown and cry every time something bad or stressful happens, you'll spend your entire life in tears. That's why I always say, sometimes all you can do is laugh. Turning to those you love in times like this can be a lifesaver. Turning to the one who loves you more than anyone or anything else will save your life. The Lord knows what you're going through. He knows the stress, the pain, the anger, the guilt, the whatever it is. So, when you're in the middle of it, choose to laugh.
"As pressure and stress bear down on me, I find joy in your commands." - Psalm 119:143
Well, you know that expression, "When it rains, it pours" ? That's my life right now. As I've mentioned before, I had reconstructive knee surgery almost two weeks ago. The injury was much worse than the MRI showed, and the surgery was more extensive than originally planned. Because of that, my recovery is going more slowly than I'd hoped. I'm hurting all the time and getting very frustrated. I had a breakdown last night, which was lovely by the way. I'm just so stinking tired of not being able to do the things I normally do. I'm tired of having to have things done for me. I'm tired of hurting. I'm tired of it all.
And, as I've mentioned a million times, I have a child with special needs. He is the most amazing little boy and the light of my life. He is also the cause of much stress and frustration. He can't help most of it, and I have to remind myself of that everyday. I know he is on this earth for a reason, and I hope I'm around to see what that is. Well, he did one of those frustrating things the other night. While we were sitting in the den, all hanging out, he calmly walked up to the TV and wacked it with his sippy cup. I'm sure you can guess what came next. The screen cracked and went black. We are now the proud owners of a 42 inch flat panel wall-mounted radio. Did you know that make flat panel TV screen protectors? Me either. Sure wish I did before this happened. Needless to say, we have one on it's way to put over our new TV.
There are a thousand other things that I could write about that cause stress in my life, but it would be like beating a dead horse. If any of you have money troubles, job problems, health problems, sick kids, marital difficulties, depression, anger, or whatever, then you know what I'm talking about. The biggest issue with all of these things, in my opinion, is how we choose to react to them. We can do like I did the other night, and have a breakdown and cry....or we can choose to laugh. If you're life is as stressful as mine and you choose to breakdown and cry every time something bad or stressful happens, you'll spend your entire life in tears. That's why I always say, sometimes all you can do is laugh. Turning to those you love in times like this can be a lifesaver. Turning to the one who loves you more than anyone or anything else will save your life. The Lord knows what you're going through. He knows the stress, the pain, the anger, the guilt, the whatever it is. So, when you're in the middle of it, choose to laugh.
"As pressure and stress bear down on me, I find joy in your commands." - Psalm 119:143
