Hello everyone!
Today is just one of those days. You know, where you feel a little down and sorry for yourself and your lot in life. As I write this, I'm watching my beautiful son play with Maggie and Bo (my mom's dogs). He doesn't have a care in the world. He is so sweet and happy the majority of the time. He keeps opening doors he isn't supposed to open and messing with things he isn't supposed to be touching. I tell him "No no!" and he stops for a moment, then it's right back to it! I keep wondering if he really understands what I'm saying to him. At times he seems so smart. Like last night, he showed my aunt all the signs he knows. When I'd say the word, he'd do the sign without even thinking about it. That makes me think, "Wow! My boy is so smart!" Then I have to tell him other things a million times, and he still doesn't do it. I don't know if it's him being an almost 4-year-old boy or if it's him having AS. It's really hard to tell. Then I look at my beautiful daughter toddling around the room acting silly and imitating her brother. I think about all the things she'll get to do that her brother never will, and it makes me very sad. It's almost like a state of mourning for all the things that are lost to my son. It's bitter sweet for Cate to be "normal." On the one hand, I'm so happy that she's meeting all of her milestones and doing all that she's supposed to do. On the other hand, I'm sad that she's growing up so fast, and I worry if she'll always love her brother the way she does now. I wonder if she'll understand when she gets older and if she will feel like it's unfair that her brother is special when all her friends have "normal" siblings. I try to take the "one day at a time" approach to all of this, but every once in a while, things build up and you need to have a good vent or cry. Today is one of those days. Hopefully tomorrow will be better. Please continue to pray for Will, Cate, and our family. We treasure every prayer lifted up on our behalf. We couldn't make it without God and without your lifting us up to him. I hope everyone reading this is having a better day than me. Hopefully I'll have some more good news to post soon. Until then...
Today is just one of those days. You know, where you feel a little down and sorry for yourself and your lot in life. As I write this, I'm watching my beautiful son play with Maggie and Bo (my mom's dogs). He doesn't have a care in the world. He is so sweet and happy the majority of the time. He keeps opening doors he isn't supposed to open and messing with things he isn't supposed to be touching. I tell him "No no!" and he stops for a moment, then it's right back to it! I keep wondering if he really understands what I'm saying to him. At times he seems so smart. Like last night, he showed my aunt all the signs he knows. When I'd say the word, he'd do the sign without even thinking about it. That makes me think, "Wow! My boy is so smart!" Then I have to tell him other things a million times, and he still doesn't do it. I don't know if it's him being an almost 4-year-old boy or if it's him having AS. It's really hard to tell. Then I look at my beautiful daughter toddling around the room acting silly and imitating her brother. I think about all the things she'll get to do that her brother never will, and it makes me very sad. It's almost like a state of mourning for all the things that are lost to my son. It's bitter sweet for Cate to be "normal." On the one hand, I'm so happy that she's meeting all of her milestones and doing all that she's supposed to do. On the other hand, I'm sad that she's growing up so fast, and I worry if she'll always love her brother the way she does now. I wonder if she'll understand when she gets older and if she will feel like it's unfair that her brother is special when all her friends have "normal" siblings. I try to take the "one day at a time" approach to all of this, but every once in a while, things build up and you need to have a good vent or cry. Today is one of those days. Hopefully tomorrow will be better. Please continue to pray for Will, Cate, and our family. We treasure every prayer lifted up on our behalf. We couldn't make it without God and without your lifting us up to him. I hope everyone reading this is having a better day than me. Hopefully I'll have some more good news to post soon. Until then...
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